I'm having this sudden urge to blog..i dunno why nor about wad..but my fingers kept twitching as i read pple's blogs and all...i've been blogsurfing so much and so religiously that it made me realise that the blogs i find myself going back to..are those that seem so cryptic and so mysterious..the entries that reveal the inner thoughts of the writer in a v v subtle sense..or sometimes are so open-ended and abstract that it leaves me mulling over it for the longest time ever..sometimes to the extent of being perturbed..yes i am a retard..i do this to myself..

on the other hand i love reading blog posts by a m and g cos they always always make me laugh..even posts when they can both be tmd-ing about life and all..its just funny cos i can imagine if i were back home and they talking to me about it..i can so imagine their facial expressions and gestures and omgosh.i miss them.

and yet despite loving to these 2 extreme styles of blogging..i find myself blogging with a style  (or lack of it!) that's in a limbo between both. perhaps i'm better reading blogs than blogging..

after all my mind has been in such a unsettled state i prolly am incoherent anyway..oh and the heart aches.so much.

i'm suppose to be doing my spanish but i'm putting it off for now..i feel like watching an episode of friends before i start work but i'm not sure how feasible it is..since i know i'll be hooked on it..oh wells..

i'll decide later..just realised that i havent updated in one million years..which is pathetic..but i'm thinking of ditching this already..after all the purpose of this was so pple back home know wads going on in my life..and as till today..i've been emailing pple so i guess this kinda defeats the purpose...

and because my life is terribly boring and i dun take pictures..and theres the world of fb..i guess this is pretty much redundant..so yeahh..i've decided. i'm ditching this =/

and watching friends.

i think the going back anxiety is starting to kick in..i cried last night seeing my cousin off..it brought me back to exactly one year ago when i had to walk thru the security checks and all that..and that horrid feeling having to turn arnd and see ur loved ones waving back at u..and u just wanna run back and not have to leave..but logically u know that its no turning back the moment u had ur passport scanned and ur thumbprint scanned

yesterday i was on the outside..next week i'll be on the inside

my cousin wrote her dad bro and mum letters. last year i did a short movie clip for my family.strange mum and sis never mentioned anything after that..maybe i shld probe..hehehe..

i started packing yesterday..and bleagh..this year's packing sucks..last year there was a tinge of excitement..this year..i'm trying to be optimisstic..i really really pray that this time back i'm not gonna have to survive winter feeling like the loneliest person on the face of this earth. ok i am exaggerating.but yeahh..u knwo wad i mean.

on a happy note...i went to the zoo w grace and joy and jian and honestly though we were damn tired and stoned at certain points in time.i'm just relaly really really glad we met up..and yeahh..i'm glad that though many friends seemed to have changed..these 3 ppl are still somewhat the same..like seriously.

now i wanna get photos so when i am sad in uk i got these photos to look at and laugh myself silly..cos we really did one million retarded and sjb shots!

of course the macs FAST chat for 3 hours was super productive and funny cos we were talkingsofasttryingtorecountthelastoneyearofourlives..hehhe...

ilubcheww joyboy<3 and my feipooooooooo<3

i've been thinking so much lately i dunno how many brain cells i damaged =(

after a series of events..i've come to realise that things are really not qt the same anymore..and i doubt they'll ever return to the same way they used to be..
being away for the last 9 months in uk and coming back has allowed me to see things from a rather..detached and outta the picture view..
i've been exposed to the harsh reality of 'outta sight outta mind' effects
i've been caught in awkward moments of silence or just plain awkward scenarios with people i've v idealistically thot i would always share those special bonds with..
i've been disappointed with the changes that i've seen in many..
and more so..
i've been mulling over the depth of my Christian faith..and how grounded it really is.and no i am not doubting my faith..in fact quite on the contrary..i'm thinking that surely there's more to this..

and though there's the feeling of being in a limbo..belonging neither in singapore or in london..feeling like everywhere i'm at is just a temporal phase..i'm just thankful for this group of friends who have been so faithful in the friendship..sunday was a time i really really looked forward to..to attend church and lunch tgt after that..it was pretty much a community and sense of belonging that i've missed in my time away..and over the last 3 months..i've grown so comfortable amongst them that when i had my last svc and lunch tgt w them..a slight sense of nostalgia sunk in and it left me pretty hanging..but i thank God for the much needed assurance last night for that sms
"we r wif u wherever u may b & will still keep in contact, rite?"
and a sense of peace fell upon me because something in me tells me that i wont be disappointed again this time.

and i think this is only gonna be the start of more of such emotions to come...i know i'll miss the planets and all the crazy times we had..i know i'll definitely miss joyboy sorely but more so..i know i'm gonna miss my family..i sound like some emo kid but the whole last thingy is starting to kick in and beginning to overwhelm me..

and i have this hunch...that when i see my cousin off this wed..i'm gonna be crying just as badly as her and her mum..cos i know 10 days later its gonna be my turn to walk thru the security checks..

maybe time will stop.if i wish hard enuff.

what was supposed to be a 3 month holiday is now down to the last 12 days..

here's what i have been up to..
week 1-8: IE attachment
week 9: rest =))
week 10-11: shareinvestor temp job
week 12: bum + ipoh
week 13: bum + F1 stuff for mum's company
week 14: bum and back to uk...

well this coming tuesday i'll be heading to the zooooooo..to see my animal friends with 2 crazy people that i've missed like sjb..
wheeeeee..it shld be fun =) dear Lord please grant us awesome weather.

we're going to the zoo zoo zoo..how about you you you..you can come too too too...we're going to the zoo zoo zoo..i wonder if anyone has heard this song before cos i have it in my head but cant recall where i heard it/learnt it from..

then there's F1 thingy..which well..i'm having mixed feelings about...its gonna be takign up 5 days of my last 12 days..and i'll be missing church on sunday..but bleagh..i think it'll tpp late to pull out..mum wont be pleased..sighhhhhh..

meanwhile i tried changing my relationship status on facebook from single to married to joy ng..only to be CRUELLY rejected with "joy ng is in a relationship" ...so i see facebook doesnt allow adultery..which is a good thing..but boohoooo i'm still slightly bitter to be rejected this way. =((

sentosa was good fun =)

but now i have 2 blue-blacks..a few abrasion on my knee/elbow joints..a rope burn from trying to be smart..and a very uneven tan =(

but  it was a nice saturday out in the sun on the beach..and the company was awesome..everyone was just so enthu and spontaneous..hehe..think sojourn might be quite fun after all =))

wheeee! come friday come! and our og people sounded quite enthu and nice over the phone..hopefully they'll be quite psyched up =) and of course we have cute eye candies in our og =)) wheeeeeeeee!

on another happy note..its last week of internship this coming week! after that i'll finally have my holidays!  

was genuinely apprehensive about coming back and not sure what to expect. but joyboy made me realise that all my fears (esp abt her)  were completely unfounded..in fact i feel silly that i actually doubted..but u cant blame me after what i experienced starbucking on saturday made me know that i married the right chubbyhubby in the whole wide world >.< there was not a single awkward moment and when we met..the familiar giggles and the same punny jokes returned..i would trade anything for those blissful 2 hours.

JOYBOY I LUBCHEWWWWWWWW MANYMANYMANY<3!!




thats berge being a lamppost >.< neh i am kidding..it was fun hanging out plus i dunno whens the next time we'll get to hang out =)



chubbyhubby trying to show me her square face [ " ],,,shes so cute..gahhhh..whats life without ewwwwww..



scheming craftily w the PM to be to cheat me..



and acting sweet and innocent about it..sighhhhhhhh...joyboy we need marriage counsellling =( and berge u need a good hammering on ur head =D



okie lah...on acct of the pwwwwweettttttyyyyy gift and ur pweeeeeeeeeetttyyyyyyy smile i close one eye..hehehe...and dun we love raffles? heheee..

looking at this photo just makes me beam..hehee..

so maybe some things are still the same =)

i feel this urge to blog but there's nth to blog abt because life has been routined to the max... 

9-6:30 work everyday is really not the best way to spend the first week and the next 7 weeks of my much-anticipated summer hols =(

but i'm just glad to be back home and spending in sing dollars and being so familiar w everything..the bus routes..the food..the people..the everything..i really think  going back to london might be qt a challenge..esp at the airport..bleagh..but we'll leave it for end sept to worry abt..

but otherwise work has been good and i get to see qt a lot of new things and yeahh..if it stays like this..i might just enjoy it..i just dun like the hours..cos and i feel like i dun have a life..oh wells...7 more weeks=) 

to poeple from church..i wont be able to go this saturday cos i have some family thingy so hopefully next week yeahh..bleaghhhhh...